Preparing for Birth

Birth is as much a mental journey as it is a physical one. When it comes to preparing, the most important tool is your mind. How you approach birth mentally can profoundly shape your labor experience.

90% of Birth is Mental

No shade, but you can have the most detailed birth plan, a duffel bag full of tools & a partner who’s read all the books, but if your head isn’t in the right space, all that prep might feel futile in the moment.

Your mindset is the foundation for everything. It’s what helps you stay present & adaptable during labor & if things don’t go exactly as planned (because birth rarely follows a script & honestly, nothing in life really does).

Mindset isn’t something you can just flip a switch on. It’s deeply rooted in:

Your personal experiences: If you’ve had medical trauma or difficult experiences with healthcare, those memories can stay with you.
Our nation’s maternal health crisis: There are valid reasons for concern, especially for birthing people of color.
Society & the media: Since we were kids, we’ve been bombarded with stories that make birth look terrifying. I won’t lie, watching my favorite soap opera actress give birth when I was six years old scared the procreative desire right out of me. The screaming & sweating? No ma’am. From a young age, the media & other people’s stories taught us to fear birth, a belief that takes time & intention to unravel & unlearn.

Rewiring What You Believe About Birth

Fear & conditioning don’t have to be permanent. Birth is not inherently something to fear. It’s something to prepare for. It’s something we were designed for. So, preparation includes unpacking what you’ve been taught about it & working on your mindset.

When & how to get started

Anytime during pregnancy! Here are some practices you can add to your birth prep toolkit:

Self-reflection

Journaling can be a powerful tool. Ask yourself: What do I believe about birth? Where did those beliefs come from? How are my beliefs serving me, or holding me back from truly believing in myself? Dive deep, familiarize yourself with your truths.

Education

Make it empowering & in alignment with your needs. Learn about how birth actually works. Not the horror stories, but the physiology of labor, the stages of birth & the incredible things your body is designed to do.

Therapy or counseling

If you’ve had traumatic experiences, please don’t hesitate to work with a professional. Processing those emotions can be transformative & healing.

Mindfulness practices

A moment with the beloved & the river changes its course.
-Ram Dass

Meditation, breathing exercises & prayer can help you reconnect with your body & quiet the mental noise of your mind. Feel free to connect with God, your mind, your body & your baby whenever you need to.

Affirmations

Phrases like: My body was made for this, or I am strong & capable can help reframe your mindset when doubts creep in. Consistently using affirmations can train the brain to see birth in a more positive, empowering light. Use your self-reflections to help create affirmations that are specific to you.

Reliable support systems

Include your partner in your practice time. Surround yourself with people who believe in you & offer unwavering support, free of unsolicited advice & bias. Only your biggest cheerleaders on this team, period.

Positive vibes only

Watch positive birth stories & follow pages that present birth in a positive & realistic perspective. Home birth videos truly capture the very essence of what unmedicalized birth looks like. They are a valuable resource regardless of where you intend to give birth. Create healthy boundaries with loved ones who like to tap dance on your last nerve when you discuss your intentions with them. Not everyone deserves access to your personal thoughts & wishes.

The Bigger Picture

Ultimately, the goal in labor is to guide your mind away from stress or discomfort. We can focus more effectively when we’re not consumed by fear or anxiety. This skill isn’t just for birth, it’s a tool that successful, courageous, & resilient people use in all areas of life. You see it in athletes, in that kiss they aim towards the sky, that quick prayer, or deep, steadying breath before a big event. They’re creating their own inner bubble to calm their mind & center their focus.

Like any skill, it takes time & practice to master. That’s why incorporating these techniques into your daily routine, starting as early as you’d like, is so important. Consistency helps build the muscle memory needed to settle into this calm, focused mindset when it matters most.

The goal isn’t to convince yourself that birth will be easy or perfect, it’s to teach your brain to see it as something you can handle. To help your body & mind work together, instead of fear stepping in & causing resistance.

When you start shifting your mindset, everything else starts to click. You’ll approach birth with more confidence, flexibility & trust in your capability to give birth.

If you have made it to the end, thank you & Happy December, friend! I wish you & your family a wonderful holiday season & an abundantly promising new year <3

“Your outer journey may contain a million steps; your inner journey only has one: the step you are taking right now.”
-Eckhart Tolle